
It's sounds weird but I breathe a little easier when March rolls around. We've had such a fantastic winter with 7 snow days. Even Jacqulin said today "we've had enough, you know?" Yes, we've loved every one of them but it's so exciting to see the daffodils peaking their heads up.
February is a difficult month for me and I guess it always will be. Five years ago in February I had just said goodbye to my Mom and sat with heavy heart knowing I would never hear her voice say "Well, hello Debbie Dootles!" Actually, I guess I didn't know I would never hear that again. Your mind plays tricks on you. I scrolled through caller I.D. on our home phone the other day and saw "Mom" listed. My heart leaped into my throat. I then realized that I'm the "Mom" on the phone. The kids had programed my number under "Mom."
That brings up another reason February is difficult, I am a Mom without one of her children to kiss or pray with every night. Olivia Elise went to be with her grandmother, "Gaga," 5 weeks after my mom died. I was 19 weeks and 3 days pregnant. How they know down to the day blows my mind but, that's what the nurses and doctors said. Olivia wasn't considered still born even though I counted her 10 little fingers and her 10 little toes. She was perfectly formed except for a tiny whole in her tummy. Grastroshcesis is the medical term for that place that didn't close. Babies are born with this condition but Olivia didn't make it.
My sister, Sonya, sent me a devotional about dying children going to Heaven. I've never had a doubt but, it's always good to hear a theologian confirm your thoughts. I was also reminded that God told Jeremiah "before I formed you in your mother's womb I knew you." That is SO cool. Mom used to read all kinds of scripture to us about God knowing us and knowing when we sit or stand.
So, this year I really thought I was sailing through February. My Mom's birthday is February 6th so I mentioned that to the kids and the fact that she would have been 75 years old this year. Wow. And now we have little Obed to pray for. I've posted his picture before but, I would love for anyone who reads this to remember to pray for Obed.
We chose to sponsor Obed through World Vision because we wanted to honor Olivia in some way. Olivia died on February 15, 2005 and Obed was born on the same day. I love that his name starts with an O too. We haven't gotten an updated picture but he did send us a Christmas card and drew a picture of a green car. It's beautiful and proudly displayed on the refrigerator.
So, I made it through another February. I had some sad days, some emotional days, and some great days. As a matter of fact, the weekend leading up to February 15 we had 13 girls at our house for a Bible study/retreat. There were times in the last 5 years I knew it was only by God's grace that I was putting one foot in front of the other.
Take a long deep breath, March is here and God is good.